I am glad this week is over! Abby's MRI was Monday. She had a complete meltdown over the IV. She is strong and very hard to hold! But she is such a trooper and as soon as it was in there, she was back to her normal self. The MRI was kinda late this time, and she didn't complain once about being hungry or thirsty. I am always amazed at how she takes this all in stride! So tough! She did great during the MRI, she has the sedation thing down!
On Tuesday we met with our neuro-oncologist. The MRI showed that the tumor is definitely growing but at a very slow rate. No need for treatment if she has no new symptoms/problems. But I had noticed some peripheral vision problems-she seemed to be running into stuff more. Our oncologist was very concerned and told us that if there had been a change in her vision, we would most likely begin treatments. Her vision can't be gambled with and if the tumor was causing vision loss, it would have to be dealt with. We headed back home anxious to have her eye exam.
On Thursday we returned for the eye exam. I was so anxious I thought I would jump out of my skin. Thankfully there had been no change in her vision. YEA! No treatments! She also had a hearing test and saw neurologist who discharged us from them. Another victory! If we ever have concerns about seizures we can call them but we don't have to have routine appointments anymore.
I can't even put into words the emotional roller coaster we were on this week. We are blessed that Abby has no outward signs of what is lurking under the surface. But the MRIs and little scares like we had make it so real.
Our precious little girl has a brain tumor.
I grieved for her this week in a way that I haven't in a long time. My heart was broken again. My soul cried out to God for help. It was a rough week. I am glad its over.
Please don't stop praying for us. Pray the tumor stops growing. Pray that it doesn't affect her vision, her motor skills, her hormones, anything. Pray she never has to have treatments. Pray for God's protection and mercy. Pray that God gives the doctors wisdom. Pray that God gives Jason and I strength.
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not, I will help thee"
Isaiah 41:13
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Next MRI
I just wanted to let you all know that Abby will have an MRI on Monday, June 13th. Please pray that the tumor will have remained the same or shrunk. Please pray that she will be brave for her IV. Please pray that God will calm our anxious hearts. Thank you so much!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Results
Abby's tumor has grown slightly but not enough to warrant any changes in her treatment plan. The neuro radiologist saw two areas of "very subtle increase" when compared to an MRI done in November 2009. The rest of the tumor is stable and there is no need to treat these changes so we will go back in 3 months and do it all again!
Thank you so much for your prayers, please keep them up!
Thank you so much for your prayers, please keep them up!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
MRI Monday
I just realized that I forgot to inform everyone of our upcoming MRI. We will be heading to Memphis on Monday for an MRI. We will get the results Tuesday. Please pray that the tumor will have shrunk or stayed the same. Pray that the trip will go smoothly and that our family will be safe. Pray for all the children there at St. Jude. Thank you!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Water
Almost two years ago, Jason and I drove to Arbanna and listened to a sermon by Eddie Wyatt from Mark 4:35-41. This set of scriptures is about Jesus calming the sea and Brother Eddie spoke of great storms in our lives and how to weather them. He spoke of his own storm, when his son nearly lost his life in a car accident and how he sat by his bed in ICU and begged God to spare his boy’s life (which He did). I left that night and prayed that I would never have to face such a storm. I was afraid that I would not be able to come through it, that I would drown in the storm instead.
A few weeks later Jason and I listened to The Old Ship of Zion while we drove to revival at our church.
“I was standing on the banks of the river, looking out over life’s troubled sea. When I saw an old ship a sailing. Is that the old ship of Zion I see? Its hull was bent and battered from the storms of life I could see. The waves were rough but that old ship was steady. Is that the old ship of Zion I see?”
The next day, we were at Arkansas Children’s Hospital with Abby. Less than a month after that sermon, I was in the ICU, sitting next to Abby’s bed, begging God to spare her life. Brother Eddie’s sermon played over in my mind and I knew that all he had said was true. I knew that Jesus was with me on this boat being tossed in the storm. I knew that at any time, Jesus could rebuke this storm and say “peace be still”. I knew others were watching (the little ships in verse 4:36 and the Gadarene demoniac in 6:2). I knew they wonder what manner of man this was that helped us survive such a storm. I knew I could trust Him. It was no coincidence that we heard that sermon on that night. God had a message for us that would sustain us through our great storm.
A song that I love reminds me of this time and of this sermon, Be Still My Soul.
“Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide. In every change, He faithful will remain. Be still my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend, through stormy ways, leads to a joyful end. Oh be still my soul, the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.”
As soon as I hear this song, I go back to that sermon. I remember that I can have rest in Him. The waves and winds obey His voice!
Except, it isn’t always that easy. Sometimes my faith falters. Sometimes I am riddled with fear and doubt. That is when I think of Peter. I seem to have a lot in common with him.
“...And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him...” Matthew 14:29-31
Peter was walking on water! How wonderful! What faith! But then, this is the important thing, he took his eyes off of Jesus. The wind was furious, the waves had to be high. He began to sink. I can’t tell you how many times I have done this. I have great faith and then...I take my eyes off of Jesus. Just like Peter, I look at the wind and waves, I become afraid, and I sink. But, praise the Lord, Jesus stretches forth his hand every time and catches me. Life is scarey, cancer is scarey, losing my child is scarey. But, “what time I am afraid, I will trust in thee” Psalm 56:3
I recently found this song and it speaks to my heart as well. Its called Part the Waters
“When I think I’m going under, part the waters Lord. When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea. When I cry for help Oh hear me Lord and hold out your hand. Touch my life and heal the raging storm in me.”
There is one more set of verses about water that I call to mind when I am overwhelmed and afraid.
“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” Isaiah 43:2
What a promise! He is with me, in deep waters, fiery furnaces, great storms, always!
I am so thankful to God for sending us to Arbanna that night and for laying it on Bro Eddie’s heart to preach that message. I am thankful for songs that I can listen to that speak the Truth and for His word, which is the only thing that can heal a hurting heart. God is wonderful!
A few weeks later Jason and I listened to The Old Ship of Zion while we drove to revival at our church.
“I was standing on the banks of the river, looking out over life’s troubled sea. When I saw an old ship a sailing. Is that the old ship of Zion I see? Its hull was bent and battered from the storms of life I could see. The waves were rough but that old ship was steady. Is that the old ship of Zion I see?”
The next day, we were at Arkansas Children’s Hospital with Abby. Less than a month after that sermon, I was in the ICU, sitting next to Abby’s bed, begging God to spare her life. Brother Eddie’s sermon played over in my mind and I knew that all he had said was true. I knew that Jesus was with me on this boat being tossed in the storm. I knew that at any time, Jesus could rebuke this storm and say “peace be still”. I knew others were watching (the little ships in verse 4:36 and the Gadarene demoniac in 6:2). I knew they wonder what manner of man this was that helped us survive such a storm. I knew I could trust Him. It was no coincidence that we heard that sermon on that night. God had a message for us that would sustain us through our great storm.
A song that I love reminds me of this time and of this sermon, Be Still My Soul.
“Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide. In every change, He faithful will remain. Be still my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend, through stormy ways, leads to a joyful end. Oh be still my soul, the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.”
As soon as I hear this song, I go back to that sermon. I remember that I can have rest in Him. The waves and winds obey His voice!
Except, it isn’t always that easy. Sometimes my faith falters. Sometimes I am riddled with fear and doubt. That is when I think of Peter. I seem to have a lot in common with him.
“...And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him...” Matthew 14:29-31
Peter was walking on water! How wonderful! What faith! But then, this is the important thing, he took his eyes off of Jesus. The wind was furious, the waves had to be high. He began to sink. I can’t tell you how many times I have done this. I have great faith and then...I take my eyes off of Jesus. Just like Peter, I look at the wind and waves, I become afraid, and I sink. But, praise the Lord, Jesus stretches forth his hand every time and catches me. Life is scarey, cancer is scarey, losing my child is scarey. But, “what time I am afraid, I will trust in thee” Psalm 56:3
I recently found this song and it speaks to my heart as well. Its called Part the Waters
“When I think I’m going under, part the waters Lord. When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea. When I cry for help Oh hear me Lord and hold out your hand. Touch my life and heal the raging storm in me.”
There is one more set of verses about water that I call to mind when I am overwhelmed and afraid.
“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” Isaiah 43:2
What a promise! He is with me, in deep waters, fiery furnaces, great storms, always!
I am so thankful to God for sending us to Arbanna that night and for laying it on Bro Eddie’s heart to preach that message. I am thankful for songs that I can listen to that speak the Truth and for His word, which is the only thing that can heal a hurting heart. God is wonderful!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Great News!
We just returned from our latest trip from St. Jude and we received wonderful news. The tumor still has not changed!! It was awesome to hear the doctor say those words! I am still amazed at how God continues to bless our family and I am so grateful that His healing hand is still touching my precious baby!
This trip went really smoothly. Lyla did just fine being away from us-I think she was treated like a queen while we were gone! Abby was very brave yesterday during the IV poke and the MRI. She is so brave! Macy was good too! That was definitely an answered prayer! We have to go back for two more days to finish up some appointments but they don't require any needles or anesthesia. Here are a couple pictures of Abby and Macy during this trip.
I met a few other mothers this trip whose daughters have brain tumors as well and are in a similar situation as us, waiting and watching. It is comforting to meet others who really understand.
After being at St. Jude and seeing all those kids and families who are struggling to survive, I feel extremely blessed. There are so many things we take for granted and it is very humbling to spend a few days being reminded of how fortunate we are to be able to be leave the hospital with a relatively healthy child and have another 3 months of "normal" life. So many families are not that lucky. Please pray for all the families that are at St. Jude, battling this terrible thing called cancer. Thank you for the prayers for Abby, and please continue lifting her up in prayer. This is a lifetime battle for her.
This trip went really smoothly. Lyla did just fine being away from us-I think she was treated like a queen while we were gone! Abby was very brave yesterday during the IV poke and the MRI. She is so brave! Macy was good too! That was definitely an answered prayer! We have to go back for two more days to finish up some appointments but they don't require any needles or anesthesia. Here are a couple pictures of Abby and Macy during this trip.
I met a few other mothers this trip whose daughters have brain tumors as well and are in a similar situation as us, waiting and watching. It is comforting to meet others who really understand.
After being at St. Jude and seeing all those kids and families who are struggling to survive, I feel extremely blessed. There are so many things we take for granted and it is very humbling to spend a few days being reminded of how fortunate we are to be able to be leave the hospital with a relatively healthy child and have another 3 months of "normal" life. So many families are not that lucky. Please pray for all the families that are at St. Jude, battling this terrible thing called cancer. Thank you for the prayers for Abby, and please continue lifting her up in prayer. This is a lifetime battle for her.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Family of Five
We are now a family of five! Macy Grace was born 5 1/2 weeks ago and has been such a wonderful addition to our family. Abby and Lyla adore her and, of course, Jason and I are in love with her. We feel so blessed to have such a perfect baby girl! My heart just wants to burst sometimes when I think about all that God has done in our life.
Here are a few photos of her. I don't have a single one of her and her sisters! Maybe one day I will get around to that!
The girls have done really well adjusting to life with a new little one around. I made it through the sleep deprivation and Jason made it through dealing with me! God has answered so many prayers for us throughout the pregnancy, labor, delivery, and the coming home process. He is so faithful and wonderful! It has not always been easy though. There are many days that life feels like chaos and I have to remind myself that this is just a season of life and we will make it. That is why it took so long for me to update the blog-I barely have time!
Last night I was reading to Macy out of one of my favorite books. I bought it for Abby but after having a trying past few days with my newest girl and with life in general, I had a feeling it would help change my attitude, and it did. The book is "God Thinks You're Wonderful!" by Max Lucado. As I was reading "You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth by the Master Craftsman", tears ran down my cheeks as I was reminded of how blessed I am, even when life isn't going according to MY plan. He has a deliberate plan for me and for each of my girls. He is the one who is wonderful!
I would also like to ask for prayers for Abby. We will return to St Jude in 2 weeks for an MRI and our next round of appointments. Pray that the tumor will remain stable, with no change. Pray for Abby as she faces another IV. Pray for Lyla, she will stay with family this time and she cried about that today (she wants to go). Pray for Jason and I as we will be taking Macy with us. This trip won't be easy but we will make it!
"So promise me you'll never forget...that you aren't an accident or an incident...you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God" Max Lucado from "God Thinks You're Wonderful"
Here are a few photos of her. I don't have a single one of her and her sisters! Maybe one day I will get around to that!
The girls have done really well adjusting to life with a new little one around. I made it through the sleep deprivation and Jason made it through dealing with me! God has answered so many prayers for us throughout the pregnancy, labor, delivery, and the coming home process. He is so faithful and wonderful! It has not always been easy though. There are many days that life feels like chaos and I have to remind myself that this is just a season of life and we will make it. That is why it took so long for me to update the blog-I barely have time!
Last night I was reading to Macy out of one of my favorite books. I bought it for Abby but after having a trying past few days with my newest girl and with life in general, I had a feeling it would help change my attitude, and it did. The book is "God Thinks You're Wonderful!" by Max Lucado. As I was reading "You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth by the Master Craftsman", tears ran down my cheeks as I was reminded of how blessed I am, even when life isn't going according to MY plan. He has a deliberate plan for me and for each of my girls. He is the one who is wonderful!
I would also like to ask for prayers for Abby. We will return to St Jude in 2 weeks for an MRI and our next round of appointments. Pray that the tumor will remain stable, with no change. Pray for Abby as she faces another IV. Pray for Lyla, she will stay with family this time and she cried about that today (she wants to go). Pray for Jason and I as we will be taking Macy with us. This trip won't be easy but we will make it!
"So promise me you'll never forget...that you aren't an accident or an incident...you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God" Max Lucado from "God Thinks You're Wonderful"
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