The last few weeks have been hard. The new seizures, adjusting to the medicine, and anticipating the MRI really took its toll on us. It's hard to explain: we weren't sad or angry or hopeless, but it was like a cloud was hanging over us or an extra weight was on our shoulders. I had to constantly remind myself that God was faithful and just, and that He would take care of us. It takes a lot of work to keep your faith meter full. I prayed and studied and leaned on my church family and on Jason for support.
But today God parted the clouds and lifted the weight. He reminded me why I can trust Him and why I should never doubt Him to begin with.
Her scans were stable. There was no change in the tumor. In fact, the radiologist looked over all her scans and can't find any changes ever. That's right. It doesn't look any different then it did in November 2009. The same radiologist who wrote in his report "definite change to the size of the tumor" three months ago looked at that same scan and said "I don't see what I saw last time".
Isn't it amazing? Isn't it wonderful?
I have no explanation. I can't wrap my brain around it. My first thought was "prayer works" and I thought of all the people who have been praying so hard for her and I was so grateful that people care enough to do that. And then I thought, "God is unbelievably amazing!"
I don't understand it. But I am grateful. So very, very grateful. And I feel that He has something so big and great for her and I wonder what it could be. And I feel so glad that He chose me to be her mama. She is an incredibly brave little girl (who happens to be beautiful too).
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for praying for her. It makes a difference!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Prayers Please!
Abby has had a minor setback. She has had to start seizure medicine again. She started complaining about having a "funny" feeling late last Monday night on the left side of her body. After several phone calls to St. Jude, we were told she was having sensory seizures and would need to go back on medicine to control them. We were very disappointed. We are just praying that this doesn't mean the tumor is growing. We will just have to wait for the MRI to see. The medicine has several possible side effects that we are having to watch for which is a little scary too. These are our prayer requests:
1. pray that she won't experience any negative side effects from the medicine
2. pray that the tumor is stable
3. pray that God will give His wisdom to her doctors
4. pray that Jason and I will continue to trust in the Lord to take care of her and us
Thank you all so much for being faithful friends.
Although we are anxious and worried, we know that God is with us. We have a peace that we can't explain.
"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:7
1. pray that she won't experience any negative side effects from the medicine
2. pray that the tumor is stable
3. pray that God will give His wisdom to her doctors
4. pray that Jason and I will continue to trust in the Lord to take care of her and us
Thank you all so much for being faithful friends.
Although we are anxious and worried, we know that God is with us. We have a peace that we can't explain.
"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:7
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Quick Update
I am the worst blogger. I get busy with life and reading other people's blogs that I forget I should be blogging too!
First of all, an announcement for those who don't live near: God will be blessing us with another baby in January! We don't know if its a girl or boy yet but we are very excited to add another little one to our family.
Second, Abby is officially a kindergartner now! We just finished up our first week of home school kindergarten and it was awesome! I have another blog for our home school adventures that I may or may not keep updated :) Updated to add: here is the link to other site. I did an update for our first week of school.
Last, our next MRI is September 13th. Please pray for Abby, that the tumor will not have grown, they don't detect any changes in her vision, and that the trip goes smoothly.
I will post an update after we know our MRI results. Thank you so much for your prayers!
First of all, an announcement for those who don't live near: God will be blessing us with another baby in January! We don't know if its a girl or boy yet but we are very excited to add another little one to our family.
Second, Abby is officially a kindergartner now! We just finished up our first week of home school kindergarten and it was awesome! I have another blog for our home school adventures that I may or may not keep updated :) Updated to add: here is the link to other site. I did an update for our first week of school.
Last, our next MRI is September 13th. Please pray for Abby, that the tumor will not have grown, they don't detect any changes in her vision, and that the trip goes smoothly.
I will post an update after we know our MRI results. Thank you so much for your prayers!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Rough Week with a Happy Ending
I am glad this week is over! Abby's MRI was Monday. She had a complete meltdown over the IV. She is strong and very hard to hold! But she is such a trooper and as soon as it was in there, she was back to her normal self. The MRI was kinda late this time, and she didn't complain once about being hungry or thirsty. I am always amazed at how she takes this all in stride! So tough! She did great during the MRI, she has the sedation thing down!
On Tuesday we met with our neuro-oncologist. The MRI showed that the tumor is definitely growing but at a very slow rate. No need for treatment if she has no new symptoms/problems. But I had noticed some peripheral vision problems-she seemed to be running into stuff more. Our oncologist was very concerned and told us that if there had been a change in her vision, we would most likely begin treatments. Her vision can't be gambled with and if the tumor was causing vision loss, it would have to be dealt with. We headed back home anxious to have her eye exam.
On Thursday we returned for the eye exam. I was so anxious I thought I would jump out of my skin. Thankfully there had been no change in her vision. YEA! No treatments! She also had a hearing test and saw neurologist who discharged us from them. Another victory! If we ever have concerns about seizures we can call them but we don't have to have routine appointments anymore.
I can't even put into words the emotional roller coaster we were on this week. We are blessed that Abby has no outward signs of what is lurking under the surface. But the MRIs and little scares like we had make it so real.
Our precious little girl has a brain tumor.
I grieved for her this week in a way that I haven't in a long time. My heart was broken again. My soul cried out to God for help. It was a rough week. I am glad its over.
Please don't stop praying for us. Pray the tumor stops growing. Pray that it doesn't affect her vision, her motor skills, her hormones, anything. Pray she never has to have treatments. Pray for God's protection and mercy. Pray that God gives the doctors wisdom. Pray that God gives Jason and I strength.
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not, I will help thee"
Isaiah 41:13
On Tuesday we met with our neuro-oncologist. The MRI showed that the tumor is definitely growing but at a very slow rate. No need for treatment if she has no new symptoms/problems. But I had noticed some peripheral vision problems-she seemed to be running into stuff more. Our oncologist was very concerned and told us that if there had been a change in her vision, we would most likely begin treatments. Her vision can't be gambled with and if the tumor was causing vision loss, it would have to be dealt with. We headed back home anxious to have her eye exam.
On Thursday we returned for the eye exam. I was so anxious I thought I would jump out of my skin. Thankfully there had been no change in her vision. YEA! No treatments! She also had a hearing test and saw neurologist who discharged us from them. Another victory! If we ever have concerns about seizures we can call them but we don't have to have routine appointments anymore.
I can't even put into words the emotional roller coaster we were on this week. We are blessed that Abby has no outward signs of what is lurking under the surface. But the MRIs and little scares like we had make it so real.
Our precious little girl has a brain tumor.
I grieved for her this week in a way that I haven't in a long time. My heart was broken again. My soul cried out to God for help. It was a rough week. I am glad its over.
Please don't stop praying for us. Pray the tumor stops growing. Pray that it doesn't affect her vision, her motor skills, her hormones, anything. Pray she never has to have treatments. Pray for God's protection and mercy. Pray that God gives the doctors wisdom. Pray that God gives Jason and I strength.
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not, I will help thee"
Isaiah 41:13
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Next MRI
I just wanted to let you all know that Abby will have an MRI on Monday, June 13th. Please pray that the tumor will have remained the same or shrunk. Please pray that she will be brave for her IV. Please pray that God will calm our anxious hearts. Thank you so much!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Results
Abby's tumor has grown slightly but not enough to warrant any changes in her treatment plan. The neuro radiologist saw two areas of "very subtle increase" when compared to an MRI done in November 2009. The rest of the tumor is stable and there is no need to treat these changes so we will go back in 3 months and do it all again!
Thank you so much for your prayers, please keep them up!
Thank you so much for your prayers, please keep them up!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
MRI Monday
I just realized that I forgot to inform everyone of our upcoming MRI. We will be heading to Memphis on Monday for an MRI. We will get the results Tuesday. Please pray that the tumor will have shrunk or stayed the same. Pray that the trip will go smoothly and that our family will be safe. Pray for all the children there at St. Jude. Thank you!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Water
Almost two years ago, Jason and I drove to Arbanna and listened to a sermon by Eddie Wyatt from Mark 4:35-41. This set of scriptures is about Jesus calming the sea and Brother Eddie spoke of great storms in our lives and how to weather them. He spoke of his own storm, when his son nearly lost his life in a car accident and how he sat by his bed in ICU and begged God to spare his boy’s life (which He did). I left that night and prayed that I would never have to face such a storm. I was afraid that I would not be able to come through it, that I would drown in the storm instead.
A few weeks later Jason and I listened to The Old Ship of Zion while we drove to revival at our church.
“I was standing on the banks of the river, looking out over life’s troubled sea. When I saw an old ship a sailing. Is that the old ship of Zion I see? Its hull was bent and battered from the storms of life I could see. The waves were rough but that old ship was steady. Is that the old ship of Zion I see?”
The next day, we were at Arkansas Children’s Hospital with Abby. Less than a month after that sermon, I was in the ICU, sitting next to Abby’s bed, begging God to spare her life. Brother Eddie’s sermon played over in my mind and I knew that all he had said was true. I knew that Jesus was with me on this boat being tossed in the storm. I knew that at any time, Jesus could rebuke this storm and say “peace be still”. I knew others were watching (the little ships in verse 4:36 and the Gadarene demoniac in 6:2). I knew they wonder what manner of man this was that helped us survive such a storm. I knew I could trust Him. It was no coincidence that we heard that sermon on that night. God had a message for us that would sustain us through our great storm.
A song that I love reminds me of this time and of this sermon, Be Still My Soul.
“Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide. In every change, He faithful will remain. Be still my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend, through stormy ways, leads to a joyful end. Oh be still my soul, the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.”
As soon as I hear this song, I go back to that sermon. I remember that I can have rest in Him. The waves and winds obey His voice!
Except, it isn’t always that easy. Sometimes my faith falters. Sometimes I am riddled with fear and doubt. That is when I think of Peter. I seem to have a lot in common with him.
“...And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him...” Matthew 14:29-31
Peter was walking on water! How wonderful! What faith! But then, this is the important thing, he took his eyes off of Jesus. The wind was furious, the waves had to be high. He began to sink. I can’t tell you how many times I have done this. I have great faith and then...I take my eyes off of Jesus. Just like Peter, I look at the wind and waves, I become afraid, and I sink. But, praise the Lord, Jesus stretches forth his hand every time and catches me. Life is scarey, cancer is scarey, losing my child is scarey. But, “what time I am afraid, I will trust in thee” Psalm 56:3
I recently found this song and it speaks to my heart as well. Its called Part the Waters
“When I think I’m going under, part the waters Lord. When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea. When I cry for help Oh hear me Lord and hold out your hand. Touch my life and heal the raging storm in me.”
There is one more set of verses about water that I call to mind when I am overwhelmed and afraid.
“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” Isaiah 43:2
What a promise! He is with me, in deep waters, fiery furnaces, great storms, always!
I am so thankful to God for sending us to Arbanna that night and for laying it on Bro Eddie’s heart to preach that message. I am thankful for songs that I can listen to that speak the Truth and for His word, which is the only thing that can heal a hurting heart. God is wonderful!
A few weeks later Jason and I listened to The Old Ship of Zion while we drove to revival at our church.
“I was standing on the banks of the river, looking out over life’s troubled sea. When I saw an old ship a sailing. Is that the old ship of Zion I see? Its hull was bent and battered from the storms of life I could see. The waves were rough but that old ship was steady. Is that the old ship of Zion I see?”
The next day, we were at Arkansas Children’s Hospital with Abby. Less than a month after that sermon, I was in the ICU, sitting next to Abby’s bed, begging God to spare her life. Brother Eddie’s sermon played over in my mind and I knew that all he had said was true. I knew that Jesus was with me on this boat being tossed in the storm. I knew that at any time, Jesus could rebuke this storm and say “peace be still”. I knew others were watching (the little ships in verse 4:36 and the Gadarene demoniac in 6:2). I knew they wonder what manner of man this was that helped us survive such a storm. I knew I could trust Him. It was no coincidence that we heard that sermon on that night. God had a message for us that would sustain us through our great storm.
A song that I love reminds me of this time and of this sermon, Be Still My Soul.
“Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide. In every change, He faithful will remain. Be still my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend, through stormy ways, leads to a joyful end. Oh be still my soul, the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.”
As soon as I hear this song, I go back to that sermon. I remember that I can have rest in Him. The waves and winds obey His voice!
Except, it isn’t always that easy. Sometimes my faith falters. Sometimes I am riddled with fear and doubt. That is when I think of Peter. I seem to have a lot in common with him.
“...And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him...” Matthew 14:29-31
Peter was walking on water! How wonderful! What faith! But then, this is the important thing, he took his eyes off of Jesus. The wind was furious, the waves had to be high. He began to sink. I can’t tell you how many times I have done this. I have great faith and then...I take my eyes off of Jesus. Just like Peter, I look at the wind and waves, I become afraid, and I sink. But, praise the Lord, Jesus stretches forth his hand every time and catches me. Life is scarey, cancer is scarey, losing my child is scarey. But, “what time I am afraid, I will trust in thee” Psalm 56:3
I recently found this song and it speaks to my heart as well. Its called Part the Waters
“When I think I’m going under, part the waters Lord. When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea. When I cry for help Oh hear me Lord and hold out your hand. Touch my life and heal the raging storm in me.”
There is one more set of verses about water that I call to mind when I am overwhelmed and afraid.
“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” Isaiah 43:2
What a promise! He is with me, in deep waters, fiery furnaces, great storms, always!
I am so thankful to God for sending us to Arbanna that night and for laying it on Bro Eddie’s heart to preach that message. I am thankful for songs that I can listen to that speak the Truth and for His word, which is the only thing that can heal a hurting heart. God is wonderful!
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